I’m alive. Really, I am. Graduating + Life transitions = no updates. But things have settled down a bit, so hopefully I’ll have more time to post.
What’s happened since the last time? I can barely remember. Steve Jobs died. Qaddafi died. Occupy Wall Street. Bachman, Perry, Cain. Stagnant economy. Jobs bill killed. Trade agreements passed. IPhone 4Siri drops. Al-Awlaki killed. Palin, Christie bow out. REM breaks up. Netflix spins out Quikster. Netflix cancels Quikster. Islamophobic FBI training SNAFU.
Lots of articles. Natural, considering that it’s been 2 months, so I’ll give you a top 5, but all of them are worth reading if you have the time.
Those of you who know me might think that this is a strange topic for me to be writing about. And, as someone who is admittedly not-stylish, I would be inclined to agree. But, perhaps, due to my lack of natural style sense, I compensate by doing more than my fair share of thinking about what style is, what my style is, and how to develop it.
style (general) – n. – the expression of oneself though a given medium.
Style (specific) – n. – the controlled expression of oneself through a given medium.*
Our world is obsessed with “style”, in particular, fashion. This fascination gives style its rightful due, but for all the wrong reasons. Style is not about “looking good.” It is not about copying those who are “cool” in the hopes that their coolness will filter down to us. At its core, Style is about taking the internal and making it external. Style always reveals something about its owner: hopes and dreams, likes and dislikes, fears and failures. These things come out in how you dress, dance, decorate, write, draw, cook, etc. Style is about expressing yourself through these various modes of living. If your style is not reflective of at least a portion of who you are, if your internal is not consistent with your external, the question is, why (or what) are you hiding?**
So what separates those with style (everyone) to those with Style (the fewer)? Control. Not in the repressive sense, but rather, it is the ability to modulate, or adjust. One’s style may be wild, but one can also be wild without having Style. However, if style is not about looking good, why do we associate Stylish-ness with dressing/dancing/writing/etc. well? Because the Stylish are able to express who they are under the strictures of what is considered “aesthetically pleasing.” Some are even bold enough to break those rules and write their own.
I may have been a bit harsh earlier. Often, when someone’s style doesn’t reflect who they are, it is not because s/he is hiding something, but it is that s/he simply does not care or does not know better. That was certainly my own personal experience. I’ll close with some of the questions I’ve been wrestling with and steps I’ve been taking to develop my own (still nascent) Style.
Know yourself – How can you express what you don’t know?
Accept and/or change yourself – How can you express what you don’t want to? Be yourself, not what you think others want to see.
Master the basics – These are the building blocks of expression.
Observe others – What do you like? Or not like? How do they express themselves? Emulate (but don’t copy), adapt, and modify.
Experiment – Some things you just need to try out. Test the limits of the basic dimensions. Try out different combinations. Play. Keep what feels right (ie, what you like). Toss what doesn’t.
Ask for feedback – for the not-Stylish (*raises hand*) or self-conscious, sometimes our own view of “feels good” is artificially narrow. A trusted pair of outside eyes can help break that.
Style on.
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* These are my own definitions for Style. To my surprise, they are very similar to the dictionary definitions.
**There are times, of course, when this whole notion of personal expression is subverted for the sake of art or propriety.
(A bit backdated. This is been sitting my queue for a while.)
What’s been happening since the last update? I can’t even say for certain. Too much focus on the debt ceiling shouting match. Yemen, Syria, Japan wins Women’s world cup, Novak Djokovic, last space shuttle launch, Gunwalker, Casey Anthony, Murdoch Hacking, GOP not-primaries, flooding in the great plains, fires in the southwest, bad unemployment numbers, google+ launches, Karzai’s brother killed, HP7.2, Transformers3, Lulzsec, Saudi Women drive, Peter Diamond withdraws nomination, Dirk Novitzki
So…this post is a sadly out-of-date, but I would be sorely remiss to not give a shout-out to my fantastic friend and photographer Shang for an InSCPiration photoshoot this past April.
For those of you who don’t know, Shang is a kind-of-amazing photographer (really, click through) who specializes in wedding photography, but also has a really cool lifestyle shoot session concept called InSCPirations. When Shang told me she was coming to Chicago for B-School, I knew I had to book an InSCPiration session with her. I’m a sucker for new experiences, and when was the next time I was going to befriend a professional photographer who just so happened to be living in the same city?
The concept for the shoot was “transitions”. At the time we scheduled the session, I was in the process of finishing up my PhD program and had no idea what lay ahead. The photoshoot seemed like a perfect way to memorialize the occasion and perhaps capture some of the uncertainty and anticipation of what that lays ahead.
Let’s just say that not all of the photos were as successful at conveying this theme. I learned that it was much harder to brood for two hours than I anticipated, and that bright summer days are not particularly conducive to looking pensive. Instead, I just decided to scrap the plan and do what felt natural, which meant exploring the environment and expressing my response to it, moment-by-moment.
At the end of the session, Shang commented, “Harold, you strike poses that none of my other clients would ever think of.” I’m still not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not, but it did result in lots of…interesting…shots, in particular this one, which is one of my favorites.
It’s not a particularly “pretty” picture, but it just has this satisfying weirdness about it, marking it as unique, as if it could have only emerged from this particular moment in time: the chance confluence of a peculiar environment, a (momentarily) inspired subject, and a talented, talented artist.
Thank you for the beautiful photos and a wonderful afternoon, Shang. Your patience and guidance through the whole process made it an enjoyable experience, and your willingness to…er…put up with my randomness made for a fun and memorable one.
Two Three tips if you ever do a photoshoot:
Practice in front of a (body-length) mirror. Just to develop a sense of how your body moves, the different ways you can pose, what your posture really is like, what to do with your hands (which I didn’t think about!), how to smile, etc.
Practice and Relax. It sounds contradictory, I know, but having a camera in your face takes some getting used to, as does looking at the camera. Go out with a friend who has an SLR and ask him/her to just click away until you feel relaxed.
(added 110716) Choose your photographer _wisely_. Yes, technical ability and artistic vision and professionalism are very important, but the last question to ask is “Does s/he make you feel comfortable?” If you are not at ease around him/her in a normal context, you most likely won’t be at ease when s/he is clicking away at the camera. And trust me, any trace of awkwardness will show up in your photos.
Not-quite-so-hidden amongst the jokes of Stephen Colbert’s memorable commencement speech at Northwestern were some very wise words. (starting @ 15:10)
@ 16:30 – “So whatever your dream is right now, if you don’t achieve it, you haven’t failed, and you aren’t some loser. … if you do get your dream, you are not a winner. … [In improv I learned] You are not the most important person in the scene, everybody else is. And if everybody else is more important than you are, you will naturally pay attention to them and serve them. But the good news is, you’re in the scene too, so hopefully to them, you’re the most important person and they will serve you. … You cannot win improv, and life is an improvisation. … And like improv, you cannot win your life.”
@ 18:40 – “You will truly serve only what you love. Because service is love made visible. If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself, and you will have only yourself.”
Sound familiar?
“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” ~Mathew 20:7
“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” ~Matthew 6:19
Wonder why?
“This uncommon man [Stephen Colbert] even manages, when he can find the time, to teach Sunday school.”
Oh goodness. It feels like a million and one things have happened since I last put one of these together 2 months ago, but I can only remember 6. Twisters, Trump, Debt limit fights, Osama, Beck canceled, budget deal.
Since it’s been 2 months, here’s a top 20 21. Warning, many of these are long.
Is the biggest threat to Speaker of the House John Boehner the ‘Young Guns’ in his own party? | (WaPo)
Every grad student harbours a secret fear. The fear that one day, their advisor, their peers, and the entire research community will suddenly wake up and realize they made a horrific mistake the day that sent off your acceptance letter. Your science will be revealed as shoddy, your experimental methodology suspect, and worst of all, YOU will be exposed for what you really are, an intellectual FRAUD.
It’s a peculiar variant of the fear we all share. No one wants to have their weaknesses discovered; their hidden failures put on full display. We try to will away our shame, as if it could be dissipated by sheer mental exertion. Yet despite being a figment of our imagination, still it persists, lingering and taunting our psyche.
Yet, for all that we hide, we long to be known: for someone to accept and to love us, ugliness and all. Someone to set us free from the bondage of expectation, free from the shackles of past missteps and free from the paralyzing fear of our own failings. We long to be known. We need to be known, and in being known, freed to live. That freedom is a gift given out of love and bought with great sacrifice.
Simon Peter’s Denial of Christ and Restoration
Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
~Matthew 16:17-18. [Note: Peter means "rock" in Greek.]
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon that, your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”
~Luke 22:31-34
Then seizing him [Jesus], they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance … A servant girl saw him [Peter] seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him [Jesus].”
But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said
A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”
“Man, I am not!” Peter replied.
About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”
Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowd. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
~Luke 22:54-62
[After Jesus' death and resurrection]
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked Him the third time, “Do you love me?”
He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”
~John 21: 15-17
Not Perfect – Church of Rhythm
I fooled everybody,
I learned to say the right words and dress the right dress
and do the right things.
But maybe one day they’ll see through my facade, and I’ll be me.
I tried to be somebody
Someone who I could look up to, I would respect and I would care about
And I thought if I was all these things,
than maybe I could learn to love myself.
But I’m not perfect, not put together
And sometimes I’m lonely, But it’s only real life
Here I stand cast your stones, If you mock me
I know that it’s only,
That you’re scared of real life.
I tried to succeed in a value system that puts everyone in their place
You gotta dress right, you gotta be cool, you gotta be popular
If you wanna be as happy as the people on the TV
Till, I found there’s a God who has a place for everyone and
every person, every broken heart, No matter how imperfect
He loves you right where you are
And he loves me
though I’m not perfect, not put together
And sometimes I’m lonely, But it’s only real life
Here I stand cast your stones, If you mock me
I know that it’s only,
That you’re scared of real life.
But here I am right where I am and through it all
I’m just trying to be myself
And I let go, of these feelings
And I finally know it’s all right to be
not perfect, not put together
And sometimes I’m lonely, But it’s only real life
Here I stand cast your stones, If you mock me
I know that it’s only,
That you’re scared of real life.
