Those of you who know me might think that this is a strange topic for me to be writing about. And, as someone who is admittedly not-stylish, I would be inclined to agree. But, perhaps, due to my lack of natural style sense, I compensate by doing more than my fair share of thinking about what style is, what my style is, and how to develop it.
style (general) – n. – the expression of oneself though a given medium.
Style (specific) – n. – the controlled expression of oneself through a given medium.*
Our world is obsessed with “style”, in particular, fashion. This fascination gives style its rightful due, but for all the wrong reasons. Style is not about “looking good.” It is not about copying those who are “cool” in the hopes that their coolness will filter down to us. At its core, Style is about taking the internal and making it external. Style always reveals something about its owner: hopes and dreams, likes and dislikes, fears and failures. These things come out in how you dress, dance, decorate, write, draw, cook, etc. Style is about expressing yourself through these various modes of living. If your style is not reflective of at least a portion of who you are, if your internal is not consistent with your external, the question is, why (or what) are you hiding?**
So what separates those with style (everyone) to those with Style (the fewer)? Control. Not in the repressive sense, but rather, it is the ability to modulate, or adjust. One’s style may be wild, but one can also be wild without having Style. However, if style is not about looking good, why do we associate Stylish-ness with dressing/dancing/writing/etc. well? Because the Stylish are able to express who they are under the strictures of what is considered “aesthetically pleasing.” Some are even bold enough to break those rules and write their own.
I may have been a bit harsh earlier. Often, when someone’s style doesn’t reflect who they are, it is not because s/he is hiding something, but it is that s/he simply does not care or does not know better. That was certainly my own personal experience. I’ll close with some of the questions I’ve been wrestling with and steps I’ve been taking to develop my own (still nascent) Style.
- Know yourself – How can you express what you don’t know?
- Accept and/or change yourself – How can you express what you don’t want to? Be yourself, not what you think others want to see.
- Master the basics – These are the building blocks of expression.
- Observe others – What do you like? Or not like? How do they express themselves? Emulate (but don’t copy), adapt, and modify.
- Experiment – Some things you just need to try out. Test the limits of the basic dimensions. Try out different combinations. Play. Keep what feels right (ie, what you like). Toss what doesn’t.
- Ask for feedback – for the not-Stylish (*raises hand*) or self-conscious, sometimes our own view of “feels good” is artificially narrow. A trusted pair of outside eyes can help break that.
Style on.
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* These are my own definitions for Style. To my surprise, they are very similar to the dictionary definitions.
**There are times, of course, when this whole notion of personal expression is subverted for the sake of art or propriety.
